Realization

i am sitting here, at my computer, in the bathroom, getting ready. I was putting on mascara, when i realized, i couldn't get my eyelashes just right. But then i realized, it was because i was crying. I started crying more, as i realized i was crying. But then it hit me, this year, was, overall, a great year.

As the year comes to a close, i prepare to rock out with my favorite people on earth. Some of them, anyway. I get to spend time with my favorite family on the planet, besides my own, me extended family, friends, and loved ones. I wish i could be with my family on this night, but i know that it's hard to be with everyone at once.

Have you ever cried when you hear a song that hits you? Yeah, it happens a lot to me. There are songs that make you feel luckier then ever, like Time of Our Lives, by Miley (another great person that i won't see tonight!), or Love for a Child, by Jason Mraz, which makes me feel terribly sad and makes me think about the divorce of my parents.

The songs that make you feel something are a good reminder of how you feel. You may not always be thinking about those feelings, like i wasn't thinking about how good this year was until now, when its almost gone. But it's nice to know that all the things that happened to me this year, really, truly mean something.

I would like to thank everyone who made this year possible for me. All my crew and staff, my co-stars, who i secretly hate ;), and all of my 2nd family. Without them, it would be impossible for me to have had such a great year. Since i spend almost 6 months with them a year, it's great that we can all be so close.

I've had a wild ride, huh? I was shot into this world of glamour as a tiny little 14 year old. I've grown, i've matured, but the feelings i'm feeling right now will never change. Seriously, im crying like a baby right now. I'm always so emotional. But i really want you to understand how grateful i am for all of this. I'll never be able to get across to you the feeling you give me, the love, the wonderful chance you've given.

So with exactly 6 hours and 44 minutes left of 2009, i love you.

no really, i love you,
a lot. more then you'll ever know.
yeah.

meagan, you're best friend, even if you've never met me.
im normal, like always.
thank you.

alright. for real now.
thank you.
Meagan.